Matt Jaku

I’m Just Exhausted

So, I pride myself in being a content creator. I stream on Twitch, I edit gaming videos for my gaming channel on YouTube, I write short films and comedy sketches, but recently, I just haven’t felt like doing any of that. It’s not that I don’t like doing it, I’m just tired. And things like streaming and editing video have felt more like a job than fun. I already have a full-time job, I don’t need another. Even coming up with and writing two blog posts for March has been a challenge.

My trip to Colorado in January was my last real break. It feels like I’ve been working non-stop since I got back. I was registered for a film production class too, but I dropped it about three weeks ago. I just don’t have the time to dedicate to it. At the end of April, I should be taking a weekend off to go camping. I know for a fact that’ll be fun and relaxing.

Life doesn’t suck, though. Yesterday I went to the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. I always loved going there. They have a new exhibit called The Art of the Brick, where it’s all LEGO sculptures. To be honest, it was both amazing and emotional. Why emotional? I played with LEGO sets since I was a kid. I still buy them sometimes. But to see that someone made a career out of it made me realize that I can still do fun stuff with them too. I can go back and make stop motion LEGO films, something I’ve wanted to do, but haven’t done yet.

Life gets busy. Life gets hectic. Sometimes, we just need a break. That’s why today and tomorrow I plan on not doing much of anything. I just want to sit at home and relax. Being able to not do anything will be just as good as going on vacation. I’ll probably play some video games, watch TV or movies, read comics (I have a bunch of those left to get through). I’m sure this feeling of exhaustion will fade, I just have to power through it.

Advice From a Guy That’s 30

Originally, I wanted this to be an actual blog post, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense to make it into a sort of list. Do I know everything? No. Do I know a lot? Sort of. This is just a collection of things I’ve learned over the last 30 years. They aren’t in any order either.

We tend to care too much. We should care about the important things, but things out of our control, we should let go. It took me a long time to learn this one in particular. Once I stopped caring about the small stuff, things were better for me overall.
Don’t worry about what others think of you. It’s impossible to make everyone like you. The most important thing is to just be yourself. If people don’t like you, that’s their problem, not yours.
Do the things that make you happy. Don’t let others stop you from enjoying your life. I read comics and play video games. People look at me weird when I tell them. Guess what? I like playing games, and comic books are amazing between the artwork and the stories. If they don’t like it, it’s their problem, not mine.
Travel when you can. The world is so big, and there’s so much to see. Go out and see it when you can.
No life will ever be perfect. The idea is to make the best of what you have. Sure, you’ll have good and bad days, but the bad days will pass. The good days should be enjoyed.
Learn your worth. It took me a long time to learn mine and when people weren’t treating me right, I walked away. Even in past jobs. Were they happy? No, but they had every chance to make it right and they didn’t. I have no regrets.
Live without regret. I know it’s easier said than done, but take a chance. Get out of your comfort zone. You’ll be surprised how things can turn out. I can happily say that there isn’t a single thing I regret. Just don’t do anything illegal.
Don’t wish to grow up too fast. Enjoy your younger years. One day you’ll blink your eyes and you’ll be all grown up. People want to skip to the end, but half the fun is the journey you go on to get there.

I’m sure there’s more but I just can’t think of them at this moment. If I do, I’ll update this list.

Being 30 isn’t all that bad. I work with teenagers sometimes and they like to call me old. They make jokes about how I had pet dinosaurs and that sort of thing. Sure it’s funny, but realistically, I’m not that old. And most days, I don’t even feel like I’m 30. I feel younger.

Over the last 30 years, I’ve witnessed a lot. I remember September 11th (I was in 4th grade at the time). I saw the creation of smartphones, something I never thought I’d have. Now, everyone has one. I saw the Chicago Cubs win the World Series for the first time in over 100 years. I watched the Chicago Blackhawks win not just 1, but 3 Stanley Cups. I lived during a global pandemic that’s lasted way too long. I’m also older than Google. What did I learn from it all? The world is far from perfect. Everyone has their own story to tell. A reason for who they are. But that’s also why I am the way I am.

There’s so many negative things that happen in a given day. So many things that make people feel horrible. I like being the person to make people laugh. I like making a positive impact even for just a moment. I like telling stupid dad jokes. I like being goofy. It’s what I do. We’re all going to grow old one day, but who says that we have to grow up?

People take life too serious; they take themselves too serious. People need to enjoy themselves more. There’s no need to be stressed over things that literally won’t matter in a few years years. Enjoy your life in the moment, because once this moment is gone, it’ll never come back.

The Movies That Inspired Me

Over the last 30 years, I’ve seen hundreds and hundreds of movies. So many, I can’t even remember them all. But within the last few years, some of them have had a major impact on me personally. These are the films I credit with my decision to pursue a career in film-making.

One of the first movies that influenced me was Logan. To be completely honest, I never got into the X-Men. Never cared for them. Never really understood them. Logan was a movie that forced me to look into the X-Men and what they were. And as a result, Magneto became one of my favorite villains in Marvel.

The way Logan was put together…written, filmed, the acting, it really did inspire me. The storytelling is some of the best I’ve seen. I loved every bit of that movie. To this day, Logan is still one of my Top 10 favorite movies of all-time, maybe even Top 5. I’ll still go back and watch it from time to time too.

The second movie that really influenced me was Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. The first one was great, and it was a nice addition to the MCU. The second one took a more emotional route, and I felt that was the right call. I loved the theme of it, and James Gunn is an absolute genius when it comes to making films that are both funny and heartfelt. While it did have fancy effects and cool sets, it also showed me that movies can be character driven. And when starting out with a low budget, you need characters to carry films.

The third movie I’ll talk about is Inception. While I didn’t understand the movie at first, I came to love it. The first time I saw it, I was very confused. I didn’t understand what was going on at all. Since then, I’ve come to love the movie. I’m super fascinated by the idea of controlling dreams, running missions in other people’s dreams, and just the idea that people got hired to implant ideas in other people’s heads. Inception solidified my love of Christopher Nolan movies, and as a result, he’s become my favorite film director.

If I’m being completely honest, Marvel has had a huge impact on my desire to make movies of my own. Everything they do is just so exciting and fun to watch, and that’s the stuff I want to do one day. I love the stories. I love the characters. And most of all, I love seeing these characters come to life. My ultimate goal is to make a Marvel movie one day. Will it happen? Probably not, but I can dream, can’t I?

I’m forever grateful for the films I’ve seen over the years, especially the ones that truly inspired me to take this path. Being a successful filmmaker is going to be tough, but I also don’t see success in dollar signs. If I make a movie, released it, and a couple of people see it, that’s success. I did what I set out to do. I made a film and released it.

But, as Saito, a character from Inception said, “Don’t you want to take a leap of faith? Or become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone.” Eventually, I’ll have to take that leap of faith. I’ll have to jump into unknown territory for a chance at something more amazing. If I don’t, I’ll be stuck in the same spot forever. I have so many stories to tell, and I hope that one day, I can share them with the world.

Snapping Back to Reality

At the beginning of January, I went to Colorado for a week with two of my friends and one of my brothers. It was an amazing week. I’ve gone there every year for the past five years except 2021 because of Covid. I didn’t know what Colorado looked like at the time, and I didn’t want to risk getting sick. To make up for it, we went to Wisconsin instead.

The trip to Colorado was broken up into two parts. The first half of the week we spend on the mountain at Winter Park. While I can’t compare it to other ski resorts in Colorado because I haven’t been to any, I can say that I really do enjoy going there. It’s not super crowded and we’ve been there enough to know our way around pretty well. It feels familiar.

We skied for 3 days, which is the usual, and then we headed down to Colorado Springs, a place none of us have been to before. While it wasn’t all that exciting, we did go to the Garden of the Gods. It is beautiful there. What made it better was the fact that it was sunny out as well. Colorado truly holds some of the most amazing views in all of the United States.

I can go into more detail on the trip, but that would take way too long to do. Instead, watch this video if you’re interested: Colorado 2022. I basically made a whole video about the trip including some footage from on the mountain while skiing. There’s a part in it where I fall into a big pile of snow. It’s great!

What I really want to say is that Colorado this year was different. It was harder to come home. Covid had us locked up for so long, we forgot what it was like to be free; to do what we want. We went to Colorado and started 2022 off the best way possible.

I’ve been home over a month and I keep thinking about that trip. The fun we had. Living life without worry. Waking up knowing the next day would be filled with fun and excitement. Now, every day is the same. I wake up, do some stuff, go to work, then go to sleep, and do it again the next day. On my days off, I’ll play some video games or do some other random tasks. But I’m not truly free. I’m free to do what I want in a very confined space.

It’s not that I don’t like playing games or my job. I love the life I have, but to be able to just travel, see new places, do fun things all day every day, it’s not a luxury I have. Humans weren’t put on this planet to work all the time. We aren’t here to be miserable. We should be allowed to go out and have fun too. We should be able to enjoy the things this planet has to offer before it’s too late.

In September I’m supposed to go to Germany for a week. That trip will be absolutely amazing, but I already know it’ll be so hard to come home. I’ve never left the United States. The farthest I ever traveled was to Hawaii almost 20 years ago.

Germany will be a completely different experience that I can’t wait for. The things I experience there will most likely change how I view things. And while I’m excited to go, I’m afraid it’ll change my mentally. Not necessarily for the worst, but change it in a way that’ll make me want more. I’ll want to see more. I’ll want to travel more. I won’t be happy just sitting at home and and going to work.

In the meantime, I can only remember the fun times and enjoy the present. We all need a break from reality every once in awhile. My next break won’t be until April at the earliest, maybe July. It seems far away, but it really isn’t. Life is meant to be enjoyed for the short amount of time we’re here. We should all take advantage of that when we get the chance to.

New Year, New Set of Goals

Well, we made it! It’s officially 2022! What does that mean? Nothing really. It’s just another year when you look at it. But personally, there are some things I would really like to accomplish this year. What kinds of things? Well, they’re kind of all over the place to be honest.

First of all, I would like to put out two blog posts a month. That might not seem like a lot, but it is to someone like me. I find myself in the mood to write and then I procrastinate it over and over. By keeping to a two post a month schedule, I feel that I can actually get things done and post regular content.

Secondly, I’d like to read at least one book a month. For some that might seem easy. And it is. But like so many other things, I find it difficult to do. I find other things to do in its place. I’m currently reading one, but I’m not sure I’ll finish it by the end of January. That doesn’t mean I failed. If I can have 12 books finished by December 31, 2022, I will have accomplished my goal of reading one book per month. I would like to read more, but we’ll see how that goes.

Third, I’d like to finish the movie I’m writing. While it is technically done, I’m in the editing stage. How long will that take? Who knows. I’ll keep working on it until I feel it can’t be perfected anymore. Or until I think it’s good enough because otherwise, I’ll always be editing it. I also just came up with a few new ideas that I want to write in as well.

Fourth, I’d like to film my short film. Which one? Any of them. I entered Babylon into a few screenwriting contests in 2021 and I was waiting to see how that went before doing anything else with it. In the meantime, I’ve been working on another short film called Time Hunters. Time Hunters is actually a two-part series that I want to finish writing and film at some point. Who knows, maybe I’ll film Babylon and both Time Hunters 1 and Time Hunters 2 this year.

Finally, I’d like to improve my video editing skills. I know I’m a good video editor, but that doesn’t mean I can’t improve on it. There’s always room for improvement. I would also like to get familiar with After Effects. I’ve had it for years but never really used it.

2022 has potential to be a great year. I might not get everything done that I want to, but even if I get a few things done I’ll be happy. If I get none of them done, I’ll still be happy. At least I gave it an effort and in the end that’s all that really matters.