Category: Life Advice

FIN.

15 years ago, in 2010, I started on a long journey. It was a journey I thought would never end. It came with many ups and downs, and it just seemed to drag on and on for years. What was this journey that I finally finished? College.

It all started when I was 18. I went to a university fresh out of high school, and I had the time of my life. I met some cool people and I was finally on my own. I got to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. There was no one to tell me otherwise. Unfortunately, being on my own was also my downfall. I screwed around too much, and in doing so, I was put on academic probation. What’s academic probation? It means if my grades were to drop any lower, I’d be kicked out of the university.

The following year, I went to a community college. I took several classes and worked on getting my GPA back up. After that year, I returned to the university only to find that all the work I did was for nothing. My new GPA didn’t transfer over. I stayed at the university for the fall semester, and I lived the college dream for a week in January before I went back home. What’s the college dream? I was at the university, but had no classes to take. My bad grades meant no financial aid. No financial aid meant I couldn’t pay tuition. Since I couldn’t pay tuition, I couldn’t sign up for class. The only option left? Leave the university and go back to community college.

I HATED COMMUNITY COLLEGE. I was mad I had to be there. I was mad at myself for being such a screw up. I let myself and everyone else down because I didn’t do my best. I didn’t take school seriously (up to that point, I never did). I was lost. I didn’t know what I wanted or what to do. I kept taking classes, but nothing seemed to interest me. I was bored. I was bitter. The only light I found in the dark was when I wrote for the college newspaper. It was something I enjoyed doing and it was fun. Shortly after I started doing that, I had my own radio show at the college.

For about seven years, I HATED the fact that I screwed up my only chance to become something. I finally got away from the disaster of high school only to be brought back home in no better position than before. I had a shot to become something more than just a kid from Chicago. Everyone around me was moving on. What was I doing? Nothing. I was a nobody. I needed direction. I needed to find something interesting. I needed to be shown that I could be something more.

As fate would have it, I got my wish. We moved to a different town and I had to go to a different college. I looked at the new college and found the one thing I felt I’d be interested in. Boy was I right. I started taking classes in TV and movie production, and I never looked back. I finally found what I wanted to do.

Over the last eight years, I’ve been taking classes that cover every aspect of film making. I’ve helped make short films. I’ve made my own short films. I just made my own music video for my final class. Every class, every assignment, every project was something that I never once regretted doing. Everything I’ve done since taking that first motion picture/TV production class has been what I was looking for.

I’ve had people make fun of me for being in college in my 30s. I’ve had people laugh at me for it. But you know what? It doesn’t bother me. Everyone is on a different timeline. I spent so long being angry at myself, regretting what I had done to myself that everything I’ve done for film has made it all worth it.

I don’t regret a second of anything I did. I don’t regret almost getting kicked out of a university because of my own stupidity. I don’t regret taking a bunch of classes I’ve never used or thought of since. I don’t regret going to community college for so long. And I surely don’t regret the student loans I have to pay back either. I messed up my own life and I needed to find my way out of it. Once I did, all that anger and regret I had went away. I was comparing myself to everyone else. The problem is, I’ve never been like everyone else. I’ve always been me. I finally understood that.

Now that I’m finally finished with college, degree and all, what’s next? I don’t know. I want to work on a TV show or movie, but I also love editing videos. My ideal job is to be a writer/director, but I know that’s hard to get into. Not impossible, just really, really hard. I want a job in film production and it doesn’t matter for who. When I’m not working in that field, I’ll be writing and filming my own projects that I’ll post online.

It took me such a long time to get where I am today, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’ve done some cool things. I’ve learned a lot. I met some awesome people that I’d love to do more projects with in the future as well. Everything I did over the last 15 years has lead me to where I am today. I’m so glad I stuck with it and didn’t give up. Deep down, I think I always knew I’d find something I’d love to do. It just took me a lot longer than I wanted it to.

Advice From a Guy That’s 30

Originally, I wanted this to be an actual blog post, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense to make it into a sort of list. Do I know everything? No. Do I know a lot? Sort of. This is just a collection of things I’ve learned over the last 30 years. They aren’t in any order either.

  • We tend to care too much. We should care about the important things, but things out of our control, we should let go. It took me a long time to learn this one in particular. Once I stopped caring about the small stuff, things were better for me overall.
  • Don’t worry about what others think of you. It’s impossible to make everyone like you. The most important thing is to just be yourself. If people don’t like you, that’s their problem, not yours.
  • Do the things that make you happy. Don’t let others stop you from enjoying your life. I read comics and play video games. People look at me weird when I tell them. Guess what? I like playing games, and comic books are amazing between the artwork and the stories. If they don’t like it, it’s their problem, not mine.
  • Travel when you can. The world is so big, and there’s so much to see. Go out and see it when you can.
  • No life will ever be perfect. The idea is to make the best of what you have. Sure, you’ll have good and bad days, but the bad days will pass. The good days should be enjoyed.
  • Learn your worth. It took me a long time to learn mine and when people weren’t treating me right, I walked away. Even in past jobs. Were they happy? No, but they had every chance to make it right and they didn’t. I have no regrets.
  • Live without regret. I know it’s easier said than done, but take a chance. Get out of your comfort zone. You’ll be surprised how things can turn out. I can happily say that there isn’t a single thing I regret. Just don’t do anything illegal.
  • Don’t wish to grow up too fast. Enjoy your younger years. One day you’ll blink your eyes and you’ll be all grown up. People want to skip to the end, but half the fun is the journey you go on to get there.

I’m sure there’s more but I just can’t think of them at this moment. If I do, I’ll update this list.

Being 30 isn’t all that bad. I work with teenagers sometimes and they like to call me old. They make jokes about how I had pet dinosaurs and that sort of thing. Sure it’s funny, but realistically, I’m not that old. And most days, I don’t even feel like I’m 30. I feel younger.

Over the last 30 years, I’ve witnessed a lot. I remember September 11th (I was in 4th grade at the time). I saw the creation of smartphones, something I never thought I’d have. Now, everyone has one. I saw the Chicago Cubs win the World Series for the first time in over 100 years. I watched the Chicago Blackhawks win not just 1, but 3 Stanley Cups. I lived during a global pandemic that’s lasted way too long. I’m also older than Google. What did I learn from it all? The world is far from perfect. Everyone has their own story to tell. A reason for who they are. But that’s also why I am the way I am.

There’s so many negative things that happen in a given day. So many things that make people feel horrible. I like being the person to make people laugh. I like making a positive impact even for just a moment. I like telling stupid dad jokes. I like being goofy. It’s what I do. We’re all going to grow old one day, but who says that we have to grow up?

People take life too serious; they take themselves too serious. People need to enjoy themselves more. There’s no need to be stressed over things that literally won’t matter in a few years years. Enjoy your life in the moment, because once this moment is gone, it’ll never come back.

Living Without Regret

Everyone has some sort of regret in life. The car you never bought. The video game you didn’t play which turned out to be the next best thing. The date you never went on. The 14 beers you drank last night at a party even though you have to work the next day. But is it possible to live a life regret free?

I would say yes it is. There isn’t a day that goes by where I regret a decision I made. I’ve learned to accept my past for what it was. And more importantly I’ve learned to see how past events shaped my future. I learned how they made me a better person.

My biggest regret for a long time was being a screw up in school. I went to a university straight out of high school and screwed around. I didn’t focus on school work and my grades tanked. I didn’t get kicked out, but I was close. I really only did just enough to get by. I left the university after my freshman year of college and went to community college.

There I focused more on my schooling. I actually tried and I did well. The following year I went back to the same university. I was determined to do it right this time. And while I did better, it still didn’t matter in the end. My screw up from before meant I wasn’t able to get financial aid. No financial aid meant I couldn’t pay the tuition from the previous semester to be able to register for the next one. And that meant I was to return home again. This time for good.

It was a hard lesson to learn. One that took several years to finally understand. I don’t consider it a screw up anymore. I consider it a stepping stone. As an 18 year old I didn’t know what I wanted to do anyway. I went into college undecided. After that, I changed my major about 5 times. I wanted to do everything from psychology to journalism. But nothing seemed right. It just didn’t feel right for me.

I finally landed on movie and TV production and it’s something I have a huge passion for. I love telling stories and I love acting. This is something where I can tell stories and act. And more importantly I can create characters. Characters that reflect who I am and who I was. Characters that feel. Characters that can almost be real. And best of all, I can have these characters be the things I could never be.

To me, movie and TV production allows me to be the person I was always meant to be. I don’t have any regrets about the path I’ve taken. Because years later, I can see that without it, I don’t think I’d be where I am now.

A New Beginning

October 2020. 8 months after the beginning of the pandemic. Life is not what it once was. We live in a world of uncertainty. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. We don’t know if this pandemic will ever end. And yet, we keep moving on. We keep fighting. We have hope that one day, life will return to normal. Is that even possible at this point? Can we go back to normal? Who knows.

This pandemic has exposed many of the flaws in our society. From health care issues to how the ultra rich can be comfortable while the rest of us struggle. It has showed us how divided we are. How entitled some of us are. How we believe wearing a mask is losing our rights when it’s really there to keep everyone safe and healthy.

The unknown scares us. We could have this pandemic another 2 months or another 2 years. But one thing is for sure, the pandemic has caused us to confront issues we didn’t before and as a result, things are slowly changing.

I have made some changes in my life as well. Partially because of the pandemic, partially because it was time. I’ve spent a majority of my life playing it safe. Not taking a risk for fear of failure or rejection. 2020 was the first year where I said, “Screw it! Let’s see what happens!”

It started when I changed my job in February. I left my current job of 4 years after they didn’t want to negotiate a pay raise. I had just worked 14 days in a row and felt I wasn’t being compensated fairly after a co-worker quit. They didn’t want to entertain the idea of a negotiation. So I left. I went somewhere closer to home that was going to pay me more and work me less than 14 days in a row. As it turns out, that was one of the smartest things I did.

Come March the pandemic hit and everything was shut down. I was at home from March-May and I got paid by my new job for the hours I would have worked. This came as a shock to me. I was only a part time employee and I had only been there a month. I’m grateful that they did pay me during lockdown. And it just shows that sometimes when you take a leap of faith it all works out for the better.

I went back to work in June and it’s been a bit of a struggle. Not for me personally, but for work. There are additional rules and regulations in place. Masks are required at all times. We have to constantly clean things. It isn’t anything overly complicated, but it is extra work. While I don’t expect to be compensated for it, I wouldn’t take this opportunity for granted. It has proven to be a wise decision to come here. And in time, I know things will work out in my favor. We are in a unique time. An era none of us have experienced. And I’m sure once this is over, the reward for sticking it out will be waiting. I just have to take that leap of faith once more.