Tag: 2021

I Am Who I Am

I’ve been reflecting lately. On 2021. On my life. On the things I’ve done and haven’t done. Not in a bad way. More like a reflection of my past to better understand the present and the future.

It’s weird. Because from the time I turned 18 until I was in my late 20s, I sort of struggled with who I was. I didn’t know what career I wanted. I didn’t fully know who I was as a person. I didn’t know if I had any skills that were worth anything. I wasn’t necessarily a mess, it was just a decade of discovery for me.

The weird thing is, once I hit 30, all of that kind of changed. Well, most of it. Ok, only some of it. I discovered who I was in my late 20s. The person I am, my values and traits, that was all locked in. But something kind of funny happened. Something I didn’t expect. I stopped caring.

What do I mean by that? It’s simple. I stopped giving a shit about what other people thought of me. Last year I read a book called The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck. It was a great read and I recommend it to everyone. After reading that book, I was left speechless. I realized that I put way too much effort into things I couldn’t control. About a year later, I finally started taking the advice from the book.

We can’t control everything. We can’t control how people view us. We can’t control what they think of us. We can’t control what they say about us either. But we can control how we react to things. And once I hit 30, I literally decided that people’s opinions of me didn’t matter anymore. If they talk trash about me, that doesn’t matter either. I know who I am and I’m not changing for anyone. I know I can’t control what people say about me, but I can control how I react. And how will I react? I’ll act like I don’t don’t care anymore because I don’t.

2020: The End and The Beginning

2020 was some kind of year. It had its ups and downs. It seemed like for every positive thing there were about 10 negative things. Not to mention that March to about August seemed to last about 20 years while August to December went by in the blink of an eye. But was 2020 all that bad? From my own personal experience, it really wasn’t. Sure some things got thrown off track because of Covid, but overall I did have a decent year.

My year started off amazing. I was in Colorado for our annual skiing trip. We went to Winter Park and spent a week skiing before returning home. It’s a trip I look forward to every year. Sadly we won’t be going this time around. Covid is to blame. But life will go on. We will return when it is safe to do so. In the meantime, we will jusy have to go skiing closer to home.

April took a dive downward. I wound up with Covid with the rest of my family. We all recovered from it, but it was definitely an experience I won’t forget. It was not fun. For me, it lasted for about 10 days. While I was fine enough to go outside and walk around the house, I didn’t leave the property. I was not going to put others at risk and it was a long time after I had it that I decided it was safe for me to even go to the store again.

2020 has opened the door to many new friendships as well. I’ve met a lot of awesome people through Discord and Twitch and many of them live a world away. If it wasn’t for Covid, there’s a good chance I never would of met any of these people. I was only able to meet them because I was stuck at home for 2 months and spent a good chunk of my time online.

August brought another sad moment. I had plans to go to Sweden in August but we cancelled that trip because of Covid. It was going to be my first international trip. It was going to be such an awesome experience and I was so excited. But safety comes first. And while we didn’t go, we plan to make up for it with a trip to Germany in September of 2021.

As the year came to a close I couldn’t help but smile at all the things I was still able to accomplish even with the world in a state of uncertainty. I continued to take classes and I spent 2020 learning German. I’m not completely fluent in it but Ich spreche ein bisschen Deutsch.

2020 was also the year where I was able to bring myself out of the massive debt hole I was in. I’m not 100% debt free, but I’m in a much better spot than I was 12 months ago and that alone calls for celebration. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to do it but I did. And I’m so happy I did. It feels like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I can’t wait to start 2021 in a much better place financially.

Along with all the chaos I also wrote a new LEGO animated film as well as created a new comic series. I’ve spent a decent amount of time doing creative things like that as well as video editing. I needed to keep busy and I definitely did with those projects.

I’m excited for 2021. The world might not be back to normal, but there’s plenty of things I want to accomplish. I want to film the short film I wrote and my new LEGO animation. I want to read at least one book a month. I want to do more video editing. There’s plenty I can do this year. All I have to do it set my mind to it.