Tag: 30

Taking a Long Weekend

The other day I was thinking. Usually nothing good happens when I think. But sometimes, some good comes from me thinking. I just contradicted myself, I know. This time, though, I came up with a pretty good thought.

I am writing this on my tablet from O’Hare Airport. I’m going on a little long weekend trip to Hilton Head in South Carolina. Nothing major. Just a chance to get away for a few days. The funny thing is, I burned up my vacation time by the end of July. But I also feel burned up, myself. The great thing is that, even though I’m full-time at work, I can rearrange my days off in most cases to go and do things. It’s basically flexible full-time.

I got to the airport at about 11:00 am. My flight was at 1:05 pm. Unfortunately, I didn’t make the flight because I’m flying standby and the plane was full. The next flight is about 5 hours later, at 6:10 pm.

But back to the original point, I was doing some thinking and I decided that I need to travel more. Like a lot more. And the best way to do that is to just go on my days off. I usually get 3 days off in a row. What do I do during those 3 days? Play Apex Legends and a whole lot of nothing. I think it’s time to stop playing games and do some exploring.

I’m not getting any younger and I want to explore places while I’m still somewhat young. I can always play games whenever. But there will come a time when I won’t want to get on a plane.

I would like to go to all 50 states. I’ve only been to a handful so far. Which ones? Let’s list them. I’m from Illinois. Then there’s Indiana, Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Virginia, Kansas, Florida, South Carolina, Georgia, Arizona, Colorado, California, and Hawaii. I’ve been to 15 states, 16 if you want to include the hour I was in Texas for a connecting flight. To be in 15 states at the age of 30 is pretty good. I just feel like I could do better.

I know for a fact that when I go back to Hawaii I’m going to be there for a week. And when I go to Alaska I’ll be there for a week as well. But the United States isn’t the only place I want to travel. I want to travel all over Europe as well as Canada and Asia. I also have to go to Australia at some point.

I know it seems like I’m rambling, and I probably am, but there’s just a lot I want to do. For a long time, I felt confined because of work. I felt like I couldn’t go anywhere because I was worried about making sure I was always there for work. But recently, that’s not the case. I’ll probably work until I can’t anymore, but I only have a limited time to travel while I’m young.

We were put on this planet to enjoy life. We aren’t here for long, and we shouldn’t spend it all working. We should spend it enjoying life, enjoying people, enjoying the things around us. I heard this line in the song called Enlightment? by While She Sleeps the other day. It was “Our mortality is the key to our freedom.” It’s 100% true. We’re all going to die one day, so why can’t we live freely? Why can’t we do the things we want to? What holds us back? Fear? Anxiety? Stress? Maybe all of the above?

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that we should go do the things we want to, because one day, it’ll all be over. I’m going to South Carolina because I want to. I’m also going because I need a break from Illinois. I’ve been here too long. A change in scenery and pace will be nice. My only issue is that when it’s time to come home, I know I won’t want to.

The Movies That Inspired Me

Over the last 30 years, I’ve seen hundreds and hundreds of movies. So many, I can’t even remember them all. But within the last few years, some of them have had a major impact on me personally. These are the films I credit with my decision to pursue a career in film-making.

One of the first movies that influenced me was Logan. To be completely honest, I never got into the X-Men. Never cared for them. Never really understood them. Logan was a movie that forced me to look into the X-Men and what they were. And as a result, Magneto became one of my favorite villains in Marvel.

The way Logan was put together…written, filmed, the acting, it really did inspire me. The storytelling is some of the best I’ve seen. I loved every bit of that movie. To this day, Logan is still one of my Top 10 favorite movies of all-time, maybe even Top 5. I’ll still go back and watch it from time to time too.

The second movie that really influenced me was Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. The first one was great, and it was a nice addition to the MCU. The second one took a more emotional route, and I felt that was the right call. I loved the theme of it, and James Gunn is an absolute genius when it comes to making films that are both funny and heartfelt. While it did have fancy effects and cool sets, it also showed me that movies can be character driven. And when starting out with a low budget, you need characters to carry films.

The third movie I’ll talk about is Inception. While I didn’t understand the movie at first, I came to love it. The first time I saw it, I was very confused. I didn’t understand what was going on at all. Since then, I’ve come to love the movie. I’m super fascinated by the idea of controlling dreams, running missions in other people’s dreams, and just the idea that people got hired to implant ideas in other people’s heads. Inception solidified my love of Christopher Nolan movies, and as a result, he’s become my favorite film director.

If I’m being completely honest, Marvel has had a huge impact on my desire to make movies of my own. Everything they do is just so exciting and fun to watch, and that’s the stuff I want to do one day. I love the stories. I love the characters. And most of all, I love seeing these characters come to life. My ultimate goal is to make a Marvel movie one day. Will it happen? Probably not, but I can dream, can’t I?

I’m forever grateful for the films I’ve seen over the years, especially the ones that truly inspired me to take this path. Being a successful filmmaker is going to be tough, but I also don’t see success in dollar signs. If I make a movie, released it, and a couple of people see it, that’s success. I did what I set out to do. I made a film and released it.

But, as Saito, a character from Inception said, “Don’t you want to take a leap of faith? Or become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone.” Eventually, I’ll have to take that leap of faith. I’ll have to jump into unknown territory for a chance at something more amazing. If I don’t, I’ll be stuck in the same spot forever. I have so many stories to tell, and I hope that one day, I can share them with the world.

I Am Who I Am

I’ve been reflecting lately. On 2021. On my life. On the things I’ve done and haven’t done. Not in a bad way. More like a reflection of my past to better understand the present and the future.

It’s weird. Because from the time I turned 18 until I was in my late 20s, I sort of struggled with who I was. I didn’t know what career I wanted. I didn’t fully know who I was as a person. I didn’t know if I had any skills that were worth anything. I wasn’t necessarily a mess, it was just a decade of discovery for me.

The weird thing is, once I hit 30, all of that kind of changed. Well, most of it. Ok, only some of it. I discovered who I was in my late 20s. The person I am, my values and traits, that was all locked in. But something kind of funny happened. Something I didn’t expect. I stopped caring.

What do I mean by that? It’s simple. I stopped giving a shit about what other people thought of me. Last year I read a book called The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck. It was a great read and I recommend it to everyone. After reading that book, I was left speechless. I realized that I put way too much effort into things I couldn’t control. About a year later, I finally started taking the advice from the book.

We can’t control everything. We can’t control how people view us. We can’t control what they think of us. We can’t control what they say about us either. But we can control how we react to things. And once I hit 30, I literally decided that people’s opinions of me didn’t matter anymore. If they talk trash about me, that doesn’t matter either. I know who I am and I’m not changing for anyone. I know I can’t control what people say about me, but I can control how I react. And how will I react? I’ll act like I don’t don’t care anymore because I don’t.

Now That I’m 30…

For the last month of being 29, I was dreading being 30. I felt like I wasn’t successful enough. I felt like I still had so much to do before I hit 30. It was quite stressful. And for what reason? None at all. I’m serious. I was stressing over nothing…literally nothing.

I’ve been 30 for about a month. I’ve had time to think in that month. What I thought was going to be a disaster, really isn’t. Sure, I’m not in the field I want to be. I still have student debt, but who doesn’t at this point. I was so focused on what could go wrong, that I failed to look at the things that could go right.

First of all, I have a job that isn’t at all bad. Not only do I have an awesome job, but I also have awesome benefits with that job. Sure, work can get crazy and stressful at times, but those times are rare and I can usually see them coming ahead of time. I’m also still in school, but I’m learning things that I hope to use in my future career as a film maker.

Before I turned 30 I submitted a short film of mine to a couple contests. I haven’t heard anything back yet, and I probably won’t for a few more months, but I’m glad I did it. It’ll allow others to see what I can write. It could also open the door for an opportunity that I wouldn’t have gotten otherwise.

I also had a YouTube video from three years ago go “viral”. I just checked on my channel one day and this one video had thousands and thousands of views. The more it got viewed, the more popular it became. As of writing this, it has almost 100,000 views and almost 3,000 likes. I’ve also gained over 300 subscribers on YouTube as a result of it. The video is short, and it’s of me playing Fortnite. If you are curious, the video can be seen here (viral Fortnite video).

I feel like being 30 is actually a good thing. It’s a time for me to discover who I really am. It’s a time for me to live. It’s a time to try new things. It’s a time to travel all over. Being 30 feels like the actual beginning of my adult life. I felt like a kid in my late teens and 20s. I felt like I was still growing up. Now that I’m 30, I feel like I’m in my prime and I have all the time in the world to do whatever I want.