Tag: blog

Goodbye 2025, It’s Been a Year

2025 has been a year. That’s the best way to describe it. Not all bad, not all good. A lot of fun times, a lot of not so fun times. While most of the year was good, I feel like I need to mention the bad as well. Every year has things we love and things we wish didn’t happen. That’s just how life is.

It’s been such a long year it’s hard to remember what exactly happened. One of the first things I remember doing was going to Colorado to ski. I went in early January. It was supposed to be a fun time, but everyone got norovirus and that kind of ruined the trip. We made the best of it, but it was definitely not easy.

What was supposed to be a fun week only got worse upon coming home. My mom informed us that my grandma had passed away. It happened the weekend after we got back. She was my last living grandparent. Thanksgiving and Christmas this year felt so different. I visited her grave not long after with two of my brothers and my sister after we played some pond hockey.

In May, I finally graduated from college. I got a degree in TV and movie production. It took me 15 years, but I finally did it. People like to make fun of me all the time for taking so long. It honestly doesn’t bother me. It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to do, and if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing. The path I was given was exactly the path I needed to take.

Every concert I went to this year was amazing. Most notably was Linkin Park. I have waited so long to see them play. Chester’s death still hurts to this day. Seeing them play his songs and some new stuff healed my inner child a bit. Emily fits very well into the Linkin Park. While she struggled to sing Chester’s parts, she absolutely killed her parts. I’d go see them again in a heartbeat.

Towards the end of the year, in November, I strained a tendon in my arm playing hockey. That put me on the sidelines for about a month. It’s still not fully healed, but I can at least play hockey again. I’m just not taking any slap-shots until after I go to physical therapy in January. Not playing hockey for a month was awful. I missed playing it so much.

After years of wondering, I was also diagnosed with OCD and ADHD this year. I’ve suspected for a long time that I had them and it was finally confirmed. Does this change who I am? No. But now that I know, I can start getting help to manage it, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing for the past few months. Progress has been slow, but there is progress. That’s all anyone can ask for.

With the year coming to a close, the only thing left is to talk about goals for next year. Next year I’m putting me first. I’m tired of doing things for everyone else just to be trash talked later or called lazy. I’m just going to do my thing and that’ll be that. I’ve also been looking for a new job. No luck so far, but something will hit eventually.

I also want to spend more time learning a foreign language. I do my daily Duolingo lesson, but I feel like I could do so much more to help myself learn. I grew up with English and I always thought it was so cool when people could switch between two languages. I want to be that person.

Finally, I want to read 15 books by the end of 2026. As of this post, I’ve read 11 for 2025. My goal was 12. I’m halfway done with a book and if I really get on it I could finish it before the new year. If I don’t finish it, that’s OK too. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I could ever read 11 books in a year. I was never much of a reader, but as time has gone on, I’ve developed the desire to read. It’s calming and just a good way to wind down. It also keeps me off my phone which I also want to do more of.

Reflections on High School: What I Learned

Describe something you learned in high school.

My four years in high school were some of my least favorite years. I know for some people, it’s the greatest time ever. Well, I never had that feeling. I wasn’t popular or well liked. But now that I’ve been out of high school for about 15 years, I feel like I can look back on it and really talk about it. I don’t regret who I was then or who I am now. The things that happened then, helped shape me into who I am today.

My freshman year was, and always will be my favorite year of high school. The school I went to felt like home. I felt like I belonged there. My older brother spent all four years of high school there, too. I was familiar with it, and going somewhere else just wasn’t an option. Then they closed the school down at the end of my freshman year.

It crushed me, and to make a long story short, I eventually decided to go to a high school in the suburbs. Was it a good decision? No. Was it a bad decision? Also, no. It was a decision I made and then had to live with.

Some of those people were nice to me. Some of those people were not so nice to me. And some of them didn’t care about me either way. Personally, I never felt like I fit in anywhere while I was there. I played golf and baseball, and I had also joined the chess club, but I always felt like I was on the outside looking in.

I’m pretty sure my sophomore and junior year I ate lunch with just one other person. We were the “weird” ones. My senior year, I ate lunch with a few other people, mostly the “nerds.” I was OK with that because I was, and still am kind of a nerd.

During my junior year, another school closed down. A bunch of those kids came to where I was going. A lot of them were devastated, and I knew how they felt. I was one of the only ones who did. But what that also brought over was a whole new era of trouble.

I feel like I flew under the radar most of high school. I didn’t cause any problems. I tried to avoid drama. I did play sports, but I wasn’t a top athlete. My senior year was different. It’s like I got noticed all of a sudden. And once I got noticed, I was an easy target.

I was bullied quite a bit my senior year. I never said anything about it because I didn’t see the point. I knew I just had to finish my senior year and then I’d never have to see those people again. To this day I’ve only seen a handful of the people from my senior class, mostly by chance and not because I wanted to. The ones who treated me well will be greeted with respect. The others? I’m not sure. I guess we’ll see if I ever cross that bridge.

So, what did I learn from high school?

I learned that just because you’re popular in high school, it doesn’t mean anything. Sure people want to be like you, and they always want to be around you. But once you leave, no one cares.

I learned that even if you feel alone, you aren’t. There’s always someone else to talk to or hang around. There are more people like you than you think.

I learned that bullies prey on the weak. They always go after those smaller and weaker than them. They abuse others to feel like their lives are better than they are. Bullies are the weakest people.

I learned that a few years after high school you’re mostly forgotten. I was on the baseball team that went to State. We didn’t win State, but I could walk back into the school today and no one would know who I am. They wouldn’t care either.

I learned that being true to who you are is more important than anything else. Never give into peer pressure if it feels wrong. I avoided high school drinking and parties and I don’t regret it for a second.

I know my high school experience isn’t a one size fits all. Everyone experiences different things and situations. I truly did love my freshman year of high school. I was excited to be there. I was treated well. I felt like I belonged. After that, everything changed. But in a way, I’m kind of glad it happened. Without it, I don’t think I’d be the person I am today.

FIN.

15 years ago, in 2010, I started on a long journey. It was a journey I thought would never end. It came with many ups and downs, and it just seemed to drag on and on for years. What was this journey that I finally finished? College.

It all started when I was 18. I went to a university fresh out of high school, and I had the time of my life. I met some cool people and I was finally on my own. I got to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. There was no one to tell me otherwise. Unfortunately, being on my own was also my downfall. I screwed around too much, and in doing so, I was put on academic probation. What’s academic probation? It means if my grades were to drop any lower, I’d be kicked out of the university.

The following year, I went to a community college. I took several classes and worked on getting my GPA back up. After that year, I returned to the university only to find that all the work I did was for nothing. My new GPA didn’t transfer over. I stayed at the university for the fall semester, and I lived the college dream for a week in January before I went back home. What’s the college dream? I was at the university, but had no classes to take. My bad grades meant no financial aid. No financial aid meant I couldn’t pay tuition. Since I couldn’t pay tuition, I couldn’t sign up for class. The only option left? Leave the university and go back to community college.

I HATED COMMUNITY COLLEGE. I was mad I had to be there. I was mad at myself for being such a screw up. I let myself and everyone else down because I didn’t do my best. I didn’t take school seriously (up to that point, I never did). I was lost. I didn’t know what I wanted or what to do. I kept taking classes, but nothing seemed to interest me. I was bored. I was bitter. The only light I found in the dark was when I wrote for the college newspaper. It was something I enjoyed doing and it was fun. Shortly after I started doing that, I had my own radio show at the college.

For about seven years, I HATED the fact that I screwed up my only chance to become something. I finally got away from the disaster of high school only to be brought back home in no better position than before. I had a shot to become something more than just a kid from Chicago. Everyone around me was moving on. What was I doing? Nothing. I was a nobody. I needed direction. I needed to find something interesting. I needed to be shown that I could be something more.

As fate would have it, I got my wish. We moved to a different town and I had to go to a different college. I looked at the new college and found the one thing I felt I’d be interested in. Boy was I right. I started taking classes in TV and movie production, and I never looked back. I finally found what I wanted to do.

Over the last eight years, I’ve been taking classes that cover every aspect of film making. I’ve helped make short films. I’ve made my own short films. I just made my own music video for my final class. Every class, every assignment, every project was something that I never once regretted doing. Everything I’ve done since taking that first motion picture/TV production class has been what I was looking for.

I’ve had people make fun of me for being in college in my 30s. I’ve had people laugh at me for it. But you know what? It doesn’t bother me. Everyone is on a different timeline. I spent so long being angry at myself, regretting what I had done to myself that everything I’ve done for film has made it all worth it.

I don’t regret a second of anything I did. I don’t regret almost getting kicked out of a university because of my own stupidity. I don’t regret taking a bunch of classes I’ve never used or thought of since. I don’t regret going to community college for so long. And I surely don’t regret the student loans I have to pay back either. I messed up my own life and I needed to find my way out of it. Once I did, all that anger and regret I had went away. I was comparing myself to everyone else. The problem is, I’ve never been like everyone else. I’ve always been me. I finally understood that.

Now that I’m finally finished with college, degree and all, what’s next? I don’t know. I want to work on a TV show or movie, but I also love editing videos. My ideal job is to be a writer/director, but I know that’s hard to get into. Not impossible, just really, really hard. I want a job in film production and it doesn’t matter for who. When I’m not working in that field, I’ll be writing and filming my own projects that I’ll post online.

It took me such a long time to get where I am today, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’ve done some cool things. I’ve learned a lot. I met some awesome people that I’d love to do more projects with in the future as well. Everything I did over the last 15 years has lead me to where I am today. I’m so glad I stuck with it and didn’t give up. Deep down, I think I always knew I’d find something I’d love to do. It just took me a lot longer than I wanted it to.

Life Before the Internet: A Nostalgic Reflection

The author reflects on life before the internet, recalling a slower, more engaged existence without constant digital distractions. While technology has made life easier and connected us, it also breeds addiction and unrealistic portrayals through social media. The nostalgia for a less connected time highlights a complex relationship with modern technology.

Do you remember life before the internet?

I like this question because I do remember life before the internet. It was so much different from life now. There are days I wish I could go back. We’ve become so reliant on our phones and being “online” that trying to unplug from it is nearly impossible. I constantly find myself checking my phone even though I know no one is messaging me. Or if they are, it doesn’t require an immediate response.

But life before the internet? It was slower. You couldn’t just look things up. News traveled by mail or phone call. There was no such thing as email. What did I do without the internet? Well, I didn’t have cable growing up either, so my TV watching was limited. I mostly played outside or played with the toys I owned. I did have two brothers growing up so that was also a source of entertainment. Honestly, it was a magical time to be alive. You had to be there.

But I also remember when technology started to be introduced. I remember when AOL was the big thing. I remember when cell phones went from big, to small, to big again, so we could watch videos on them. I remember when a phone call would kick you off of the internet. I remember having a timer on how long I could be online. It was about an hour, by the way. Maybe an hour and a half. Two hours if I was lucky.

I remember when you had to buy ringtones for your cell phone. I remember when cell phones couldn’t really access the internet. If you wanted to listen to music, you had to turn on the radio, or own the music on CD, vinyl, or cassette. There was no Apple Music or Spotify. There was no iTunes either. YouTube? Didn’t exist. Truth be told, I’m even older than Google.

The internet has made life easier, but it’s also made life worse. The creation of social media has plagued us with living in a world that’s always polished. Rarely do we post things on social media that aren’t good or happy times. We live for likes on posts and photos. We yearn for the feeling of being popular. And I was there for MySpace when you could rank your Top 8 friends. I remember it all.

Ironically, while I was in the middle of writing this post, I paused to scroll Instagram for 30 seconds. It’s like our brains are trained to participate in social media and there’s no way to stop it. It’s an addiction. I don’t wish for social media to not exist. There are good uses for it, and it has allowed me to keep in contact with people I otherwise wouldn’t be able to. It’s just that sometimes, I just miss the when the internet didn’t exist.

My German Adventure

Let me start off by saying this will be a long post. I am writing about my 10-day trip to Germany from September 20 – September 30, 2023. And for the sake of simplicity, I’ll be using the 24-hour clock when talking about times.

First off, I don’t think I want to admit it, but I will. I feel like I was under prepared for the trip. Excited? Yes. But definitely not prepared. What do I mean by that? Well, more jet lag than anything. Until now, I’ve never left the United States. My longest trip distance wise was to Hawaii about 20 years ago. My first international trip was to a place that’s a 9 hour plane ride away. Do I regret it? Not for a second, but it did take some getting used to.

I went with a friend of mine. We left at 22:30 on the 20th and arrived in Frankfurt at 14:20 on the 21st. I also worked 10:00 – 18:00 on the 20th before we left. Once we arrived in Frankfurt, we took 3 hour train ride on the ICE to Munich. Between the 20th and 21st, I got little to no sleep, and I’m certain I was up for basically 24 hours straight, if not more.

The 21st was a rough day. Lack of sleep, jet lag, being in a new place, it all added to building anxiety. We wandered the streets of Munich that night and found some stores and places to eat. There were a lot of people walking around as well. Some sober, some drunk.

After walking around for a bit, we went to the bar at the hostel we were staying at. We had a drink and then we went to Subway. That’s correct, I traveled 4500 miles to go to a Subway. I’m not proud of it, but it was open and it was familiar. After we ate, I went to sleep and I slept very well that night.

The 22nd we walked around Munich in the rain. We were planning on going to Oktoberfest, but we weren’t in the mood for it in the rain. We did get to see St. Paul’s Church and more of Munich, which was pretty cool.

On the 23rd, I woke up and was not feeling well at all. I took some ibuprofen, hoping it would help, and it eventually did. We headed over to Oktoberfest, and I can’t even begin to describe it. I’ve never seen anything like it before. Sure, I’ve been to Oktoberfest back home, but American Oktoberfest is nothing compared to Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany. There was beer and food everywhere. There were carnival games and rides everywhere. The tents were packed and loud. Everyone needs to go to Oktoberfest in Munich at least once in their life. It’ll be the best party you ever attend.

Our time in Munich came to an end on the 24th. We left Munich to go to Leipzig. We got to Leipzig and walked around for a bit. We didn’t really do anything until the 25th. The 25th is when we went out and really explored. We went to the Stasi Museum and St. Thomas Church, where Johann Sebastian Bach is buried. Both were really awesome to see. The Stasi Museum is a small but fascinating museum, and the church is magnificent.

The 26th, we made our way to Berlin. We stayed outside the city center and it was nice. I managed to find a small Irish pub down the street called Molly Malone’s. We had an awesome time there. We found out the one bartender was from South Carolina, and the other lived in Chicago for a bit. We also got to witness a group of school kids sing karaoke. That was quite entertaining to see.

We spent most of the 27th in Berlin. We walked all over the place. We saw the Brandenburg Gate, the Holocaust Memorial, and we went to Checkpoint Charlie. While at Checkpoint Charlie, we went to the little museum that was next to it. We also touched part of the Berlin Wall. I always get excited when I can see and touch a part of history. It comes with being a major history geek.

The following day, we left Berlin and headed for our last stop: Frankfurt. Upon arriving in Frankfurt, I wasn’t impressed. It didn’t look that great. I was proven wrong shortly after. The 29th we really explored Frankfurt. We started walking and we stumbled upon the Old Town. That little area alone made the trip to Frankfurt worth it. Just past the Old Town, we went to St. Bartholomew’s Cathedral. We walked inside and I was in awe. The Cathedral is beautiful and definitely worth checking out.

Inside the Cathedral, they had a little board with some history of the area. It explained how the Old Town and part of the Cathedral we destroyed during World War II. Looking at it now, you’d never be able to tell. After visiting the Cathedral, we walked across a bridge going over the Main River and we walked down the river for a bit. While on the bridge, I saw the wind blow someone’s hat off their head and into the river. They tried to get it before it went into the river, but they were too late.

After our short time in Frankfurt, it was the night of the 29th, and it was time to get ready to go home. We had one last drink at the hotel bar and went to bed so we could catch our flight at 08:30 on the 30th.

In the short time we were there, we walked and saw a lot. Germany has an interesting history, and one many people are aware of. But during my time there, I never once felt out of place. I never once felt like anyone was mean or rude to me. Germany is a beautiful place to visit. While I only saw a fraction of what Germany has to offer, I would go back in a heartbeat.