Tag: content

I’m Just Exhausted

So, I pride myself in being a content creator. I stream on Twitch, I edit gaming videos for my gaming channel on YouTube, I write short films and comedy sketches, but recently, I just haven’t felt like doing any of that. It’s not that I don’t like doing it, I’m just tired. And things like streaming and editing video have felt more like a job than fun. I already have a full-time job, I don’t need another. Even coming up with and writing two blog posts for March has been a challenge.

My trip to Colorado in January was my last real break. It feels like I’ve been working non-stop since I got back. I was registered for a film production class too, but I dropped it about three weeks ago. I just don’t have the time to dedicate to it. At the end of April, I should be taking a weekend off to go camping. I know for a fact that’ll be fun and relaxing.

Life doesn’t suck, though. Yesterday I went to the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. I always loved going there. They have a new exhibit called The Art of the Brick, where it’s all LEGO sculptures. To be honest, it was both amazing and emotional. Why emotional? I played with LEGO sets since I was a kid. I still buy them sometimes. But to see that someone made a career out of it made me realize that I can still do fun stuff with them too. I can go back and make stop motion LEGO films, something I’ve wanted to do, but haven’t done yet.

Life gets busy. Life gets hectic. Sometimes, we just need a break. That’s why today and tomorrow I plan on not doing much of anything. I just want to sit at home and relax. Being able to not do anything will be just as good as going on vacation. I’ll probably play some video games, watch TV or movies, read comics (I have a bunch of those left to get through). I’m sure this feeling of exhaustion will fade, I just have to power through it.

Creative Struggles

A few weeks ago, I went on a small vacation. I wasn’t able to take a full vacation this year because of work. I was promoted to a full-time employee in May and I don’t get vacation time for at least 6 months. I do only work 4 10 hour days most of the time, so I was able to stack my days off to the end of the week so I could a least spend some time away. After everything with COVID and working a lot, a small break was nice.

I love my job. I really do. It isn’t too difficult and it’s pretty relaxed. Most of the people that come here don’t cause issues. While I do love what I do, I know I don’t want to do it forever. It’s a good job for now, and it’s really the only thing I’ve ever done. But in 10 years, I hope to be doing something else. Something different. I hope to be doing the job I truly want to have.

I want to create stories. I want to tell stories. I want to make movies. All of that is fun and all, but there are times where I hit a creative block. I get to a point in my story where I don’t know where to go next, even after plotting it out. I have some amazing story ideas…ideas that could turn into something. But sometimes I just don’t know where to go with them. And sometimes, I go one way with it and then change it when I go back to edit it.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that my biggest struggle is linking the beginning to the end while still keeping interest up. It’s so easy to just not care about characters, but I want to make sure that my characters are relatable. I want people to see themselves in my characters. If not that, then I want people to say, “I know someone like that.” Characters are the true stars of my stories. If I don’t have exciting or relatable characters, I feel like I’ve failed in telling my story.

I know I’ll get better at it the more I do it, I just wish I was better at it now. I know these things take time. I just get impatient at times. I think most people are like that in some aspect. They don’t want to spend the time working on a skill. They just want the perfected result. Funny thing is, a lot of times, the journey was way more exciting that just getting to the end.

Sometimes, I do wish I could fast forward. But I also know that if I did, I’d probably regret it. Watching Click taught me that lesson. Being almost 30 reinforced that lesson. As a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up. Well, I grew up and sometimes, I wish I could just be a kid again. It’s been a long journey for me, and I know in the end, it’ll all be worth it.

Being a Content Creator

Being a content creator isn’t as easy as it seems. It takes a lot of time and effort. I create several forms of content. All of which are different. And all of which take hours upon hours to complete.

I have recently created a schedule for myself in order to manage my time better. While it seemed like I would follow it, after the first week, I forgot about it and stopped. It wasn’t my intention. I’m just not accustomed to following a schedule like that.

So I think it’s time I went and revisited it. I put things in there like edit video, write these blog posts, work on my movie, read books, the list goes on. There’s plenty of times I have editing marked down and no video to edit. So while I do specify times, it isn’t always set in stone. That’s just how it is.

It always seems like there’s a lot I want to do and I never seem to have time to do it. Even after managing my time. This is mainly because I find ways to distract myself. For example, this post was supposed to be out last Sunday, November 1. It’s a week late.

When I started creating content, I never intended to make money off it. I just did it because I discovered a long time ago that I have a creative brain. I need to do things that allow me to be creative. So I learned how to edit video on my own. It was ok, but then I took an actual video editing class. After that, my video editing excelled. I had a better understanding of it and what to look for.

Since then, I’ve edited videos for a few Twitch streamers. I’m not a perfect editor, but I do take pride in my work. Besides that, there’s no such thing as a perfect video editor. There’s always a mistake somewhere.

Currently, most of the video I edit is my own. It’s either for my gaming channel on YouTube or one of my other two channels. The other two channels I use to post video edits as well as projects I wrote and/or produced. I do a lot of it for the experience. The gaming videos I try to get more experimental with. Try new things. Everything else, I just do whatever flows.

Aside from video editing I also write and draw comics. I’m not the best artist, but I do what I can. I make up for it in storytelling…or at least I try to. I am proud of my comics even though they aren’t finished yet. One of them I may never finish simply because there’s so much story left to tell.

My biggest creative project is the movie I’m writing. While I can’t go into detail, I can say that it is something that I am very happy with so far. I love the story and I love how it’s playing out. It’s always a good sign when the story writes itself and flows naturally.

Having a creative mind is both a curse and a blessing. It’s a blessing because I can write things that I can share with other people. I can tell endless stories. I can share how I feel. But most importantly for me, it gives me a chance to be me. It gives me a chance to be anyone I want. As someone that never finished college, that means a lot.

There’s so many things I want to do. So many people I want to be. There just isn’t enough time in the world for it all. But to be able to create worlds and characters that can live out these other lives makes me feel happy. For example, I know I’ll never be a lawyer, but that doesn’t mean I can’t write a story about one. And in doing so, I would get to feel what it’s like to be a lawyer for a brief moment in time.

Being a content creator is hard. It’s far from easy. But you get out of it what you put into it. And after I write a story, I always feel happy. I feel accomplished. And that’s one of the best feelings in the world.