Tag: creator

New Year, New Set of Goals

Well, we made it! It’s officially 2022! What does that mean? Nothing really. It’s just another year when you look at it. But personally, there are some things I would really like to accomplish this year. What kinds of things? Well, they’re kind of all over the place to be honest.

First of all, I would like to put out two blog posts a month. That might not seem like a lot, but it is to someone like me. I find myself in the mood to write and then I procrastinate it over and over. By keeping to a two post a month schedule, I feel that I can actually get things done and post regular content.

Secondly, I’d like to read at least one book a month. For some that might seem easy. And it is. But like so many other things, I find it difficult to do. I find other things to do in its place. I’m currently reading one, but I’m not sure I’ll finish it by the end of January. That doesn’t mean I failed. If I can have 12 books finished by December 31, 2022, I will have accomplished my goal of reading one book per month. I would like to read more, but we’ll see how that goes.

Third, I’d like to finish the movie I’m writing. While it is technically done, I’m in the editing stage. How long will that take? Who knows. I’ll keep working on it until I feel it can’t be perfected anymore. Or until I think it’s good enough because otherwise, I’ll always be editing it. I also just came up with a few new ideas that I want to write in as well.

Fourth, I’d like to film my short film. Which one? Any of them. I entered Babylon into a few screenwriting contests in 2021 and I was waiting to see how that went before doing anything else with it. In the meantime, I’ve been working on another short film called Time Hunters. Time Hunters is actually a two-part series that I want to finish writing and film at some point. Who knows, maybe I’ll film Babylon and both Time Hunters 1 and Time Hunters 2 this year.

Finally, I’d like to improve my video editing skills. I know I’m a good video editor, but that doesn’t mean I can’t improve on it. There’s always room for improvement. I would also like to get familiar with After Effects. I’ve had it for years but never really used it.

2022 has potential to be a great year. I might not get everything done that I want to, but even if I get a few things done I’ll be happy. If I get none of them done, I’ll still be happy. At least I gave it an effort and in the end that’s all that really matters.

I Am Who I Am

I’ve been reflecting lately. On 2021. On my life. On the things I’ve done and haven’t done. Not in a bad way. More like a reflection of my past to better understand the present and the future.

It’s weird. Because from the time I turned 18 until I was in my late 20s, I sort of struggled with who I was. I didn’t know what career I wanted. I didn’t fully know who I was as a person. I didn’t know if I had any skills that were worth anything. I wasn’t necessarily a mess, it was just a decade of discovery for me.

The weird thing is, once I hit 30, all of that kind of changed. Well, most of it. Ok, only some of it. I discovered who I was in my late 20s. The person I am, my values and traits, that was all locked in. But something kind of funny happened. Something I didn’t expect. I stopped caring.

What do I mean by that? It’s simple. I stopped giving a shit about what other people thought of me. Last year I read a book called The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck. It was a great read and I recommend it to everyone. After reading that book, I was left speechless. I realized that I put way too much effort into things I couldn’t control. About a year later, I finally started taking the advice from the book.

We can’t control everything. We can’t control how people view us. We can’t control what they think of us. We can’t control what they say about us either. But we can control how we react to things. And once I hit 30, I literally decided that people’s opinions of me didn’t matter anymore. If they talk trash about me, that doesn’t matter either. I know who I am and I’m not changing for anyone. I know I can’t control what people say about me, but I can control how I react. And how will I react? I’ll act like I don’t don’t care anymore because I don’t.

Almost 30

So, here we are. A few weeks before my 30th birthday and I feel both excited and anxious. Being 30 isn’t all that bad I suppose. I mean, I am still 29. The difference between 29 and 30 can’t be all that much. One year older, and one more year to try to accomplish my goals.

Now, I’m not saying I’m unhappy with my current life. I’m actually really happy with where I am. Would I do some things over? Absolutely. Do I have any regrets? Nope. Not a single regret. I feel that everything I’ve done has contributed to where I am today. And when you can see how the past shapes the future, regret disappears.

When I go back and look at the journey of my life, I can pinpoint the things that led me to where I am today. Everything from getting straight C’s in high school to being a full-time Zamboni driver. It’s all connected.

Because I didn’t really care in high school and did the bare minimum to get by, I wound up going to Northern Illinois University. My grades were good enough for that and it was far enough away from home for me to finally be on my own. While I had fun, it didn’t last long.

I was put on academic probation and came home after my first year. I spent most of my time after that at community college just taking classes. Any classes, really. I didn’t fully know what I wanted to do yet. I dabbled in history, acting, creative writing, journalism, the list goes on and on.

Since I was going to community college, I needed a job. I got hired at an ice rink as a Zamboni driver, and that’s been my job for the last ten years. Why an ice rink? I love ice skating and playing hockey. Why not work somewhere you love being? It’s hard to believe I spent a decade making ice for people to skate on. And over the last ten years, I’ve become one of the best (at least in my opinion).

Over the last ten years, I’ve worked at five different ice rinks. Four inside and one outside. I’ve driven something like 12 different ice resurfacers. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve had a lot of fun. I’ve met some awesome people including professional hockey players and Olympic athletes. But at the end of the day, this isn’t what I want to do forever. I want to do something more.

Where I’m at now, it’s not a bad place. Coming here was probably the best decision I made. But at the same time, I finally figured out what I want to do with myself. It took about eight years of college to figure it out. To put it simply…I want to make movies.

Or if I can’t make movies, I want to be a part of making them in some way. I feel like I have good movie ideas. But if they don’t get made, it’s not the end of the world. I’ve also gotten very good at editing video. I’d happily edit movies as a career. Editing is it’s own form of creativity.

What if it doesn’t work out? Well, if it doesn’t work out, I still have a really awesome job to fall back on. One where people care. One where I have full benefits and don’t have to really worry about much. The job I have now is amazing. But as a creative person, I want more. I’ll always want more and one day, I’ll have more. But I will never forget where I came from. If it wasn’t for the job I got ten years ago, I wouldn’t have the opportunities I have today. I’ll forever be grateful for that.

Creative Struggles

A few weeks ago, I went on a small vacation. I wasn’t able to take a full vacation this year because of work. I was promoted to a full-time employee in May and I don’t get vacation time for at least 6 months. I do only work 4 10 hour days most of the time, so I was able to stack my days off to the end of the week so I could a least spend some time away. After everything with COVID and working a lot, a small break was nice.

I love my job. I really do. It isn’t too difficult and it’s pretty relaxed. Most of the people that come here don’t cause issues. While I do love what I do, I know I don’t want to do it forever. It’s a good job for now, and it’s really the only thing I’ve ever done. But in 10 years, I hope to be doing something else. Something different. I hope to be doing the job I truly want to have.

I want to create stories. I want to tell stories. I want to make movies. All of that is fun and all, but there are times where I hit a creative block. I get to a point in my story where I don’t know where to go next, even after plotting it out. I have some amazing story ideas…ideas that could turn into something. But sometimes I just don’t know where to go with them. And sometimes, I go one way with it and then change it when I go back to edit it.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that my biggest struggle is linking the beginning to the end while still keeping interest up. It’s so easy to just not care about characters, but I want to make sure that my characters are relatable. I want people to see themselves in my characters. If not that, then I want people to say, “I know someone like that.” Characters are the true stars of my stories. If I don’t have exciting or relatable characters, I feel like I’ve failed in telling my story.

I know I’ll get better at it the more I do it, I just wish I was better at it now. I know these things take time. I just get impatient at times. I think most people are like that in some aspect. They don’t want to spend the time working on a skill. They just want the perfected result. Funny thing is, a lot of times, the journey was way more exciting that just getting to the end.

Sometimes, I do wish I could fast forward. But I also know that if I did, I’d probably regret it. Watching Click taught me that lesson. Being almost 30 reinforced that lesson. As a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up. Well, I grew up and sometimes, I wish I could just be a kid again. It’s been a long journey for me, and I know in the end, it’ll all be worth it.

2020: The End and The Beginning

2020 was some kind of year. It had its ups and downs. It seemed like for every positive thing there were about 10 negative things. Not to mention that March to about August seemed to last about 20 years while August to December went by in the blink of an eye. But was 2020 all that bad? From my own personal experience, it really wasn’t. Sure some things got thrown off track because of Covid, but overall I did have a decent year.

My year started off amazing. I was in Colorado for our annual skiing trip. We went to Winter Park and spent a week skiing before returning home. It’s a trip I look forward to every year. Sadly we won’t be going this time around. Covid is to blame. But life will go on. We will return when it is safe to do so. In the meantime, we will jusy have to go skiing closer to home.

April took a dive downward. I wound up with Covid with the rest of my family. We all recovered from it, but it was definitely an experience I won’t forget. It was not fun. For me, it lasted for about 10 days. While I was fine enough to go outside and walk around the house, I didn’t leave the property. I was not going to put others at risk and it was a long time after I had it that I decided it was safe for me to even go to the store again.

2020 has opened the door to many new friendships as well. I’ve met a lot of awesome people through Discord and Twitch and many of them live a world away. If it wasn’t for Covid, there’s a good chance I never would of met any of these people. I was only able to meet them because I was stuck at home for 2 months and spent a good chunk of my time online.

August brought another sad moment. I had plans to go to Sweden in August but we cancelled that trip because of Covid. It was going to be my first international trip. It was going to be such an awesome experience and I was so excited. But safety comes first. And while we didn’t go, we plan to make up for it with a trip to Germany in September of 2021.

As the year came to a close I couldn’t help but smile at all the things I was still able to accomplish even with the world in a state of uncertainty. I continued to take classes and I spent 2020 learning German. I’m not completely fluent in it but Ich spreche ein bisschen Deutsch.

2020 was also the year where I was able to bring myself out of the massive debt hole I was in. I’m not 100% debt free, but I’m in a much better spot than I was 12 months ago and that alone calls for celebration. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to do it but I did. And I’m so happy I did. It feels like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I can’t wait to start 2021 in a much better place financially.

Along with all the chaos I also wrote a new LEGO animated film as well as created a new comic series. I’ve spent a decent amount of time doing creative things like that as well as video editing. I needed to keep busy and I definitely did with those projects.

I’m excited for 2021. The world might not be back to normal, but there’s plenty of things I want to accomplish. I want to film the short film I wrote and my new LEGO animation. I want to read at least one book a month. I want to do more video editing. There’s plenty I can do this year. All I have to do it set my mind to it.