Tag: future

New Year, New Set of Goals

Well, we made it! It’s officially 2022! What does that mean? Nothing really. It’s just another year when you look at it. But personally, there are some things I would really like to accomplish this year. What kinds of things? Well, they’re kind of all over the place to be honest.

First of all, I would like to put out two blog posts a month. That might not seem like a lot, but it is to someone like me. I find myself in the mood to write and then I procrastinate it over and over. By keeping to a two post a month schedule, I feel that I can actually get things done and post regular content.

Secondly, I’d like to read at least one book a month. For some that might seem easy. And it is. But like so many other things, I find it difficult to do. I find other things to do in its place. I’m currently reading one, but I’m not sure I’ll finish it by the end of January. That doesn’t mean I failed. If I can have 12 books finished by December 31, 2022, I will have accomplished my goal of reading one book per month. I would like to read more, but we’ll see how that goes.

Third, I’d like to finish the movie I’m writing. While it is technically done, I’m in the editing stage. How long will that take? Who knows. I’ll keep working on it until I feel it can’t be perfected anymore. Or until I think it’s good enough because otherwise, I’ll always be editing it. I also just came up with a few new ideas that I want to write in as well.

Fourth, I’d like to film my short film. Which one? Any of them. I entered Babylon into a few screenwriting contests in 2021 and I was waiting to see how that went before doing anything else with it. In the meantime, I’ve been working on another short film called Time Hunters. Time Hunters is actually a two-part series that I want to finish writing and film at some point. Who knows, maybe I’ll film Babylon and both Time Hunters 1 and Time Hunters 2 this year.

Finally, I’d like to improve my video editing skills. I know I’m a good video editor, but that doesn’t mean I can’t improve on it. There’s always room for improvement. I would also like to get familiar with After Effects. I’ve had it for years but never really used it.

2022 has potential to be a great year. I might not get everything done that I want to, but even if I get a few things done I’ll be happy. If I get none of them done, I’ll still be happy. At least I gave it an effort and in the end that’s all that really matters.

I Am Who I Am

I’ve been reflecting lately. On 2021. On my life. On the things I’ve done and haven’t done. Not in a bad way. More like a reflection of my past to better understand the present and the future.

It’s weird. Because from the time I turned 18 until I was in my late 20s, I sort of struggled with who I was. I didn’t know what career I wanted. I didn’t fully know who I was as a person. I didn’t know if I had any skills that were worth anything. I wasn’t necessarily a mess, it was just a decade of discovery for me.

The weird thing is, once I hit 30, all of that kind of changed. Well, most of it. Ok, only some of it. I discovered who I was in my late 20s. The person I am, my values and traits, that was all locked in. But something kind of funny happened. Something I didn’t expect. I stopped caring.

What do I mean by that? It’s simple. I stopped giving a shit about what other people thought of me. Last year I read a book called The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck. It was a great read and I recommend it to everyone. After reading that book, I was left speechless. I realized that I put way too much effort into things I couldn’t control. About a year later, I finally started taking the advice from the book.

We can’t control everything. We can’t control how people view us. We can’t control what they think of us. We can’t control what they say about us either. But we can control how we react to things. And once I hit 30, I literally decided that people’s opinions of me didn’t matter anymore. If they talk trash about me, that doesn’t matter either. I know who I am and I’m not changing for anyone. I know I can’t control what people say about me, but I can control how I react. And how will I react? I’ll act like I don’t don’t care anymore because I don’t.

Now That I’m 30…

For the last month of being 29, I was dreading being 30. I felt like I wasn’t successful enough. I felt like I still had so much to do before I hit 30. It was quite stressful. And for what reason? None at all. I’m serious. I was stressing over nothing…literally nothing.

I’ve been 30 for about a month. I’ve had time to think in that month. What I thought was going to be a disaster, really isn’t. Sure, I’m not in the field I want to be. I still have student debt, but who doesn’t at this point. I was so focused on what could go wrong, that I failed to look at the things that could go right.

First of all, I have a job that isn’t at all bad. Not only do I have an awesome job, but I also have awesome benefits with that job. Sure, work can get crazy and stressful at times, but those times are rare and I can usually see them coming ahead of time. I’m also still in school, but I’m learning things that I hope to use in my future career as a film maker.

Before I turned 30 I submitted a short film of mine to a couple contests. I haven’t heard anything back yet, and I probably won’t for a few more months, but I’m glad I did it. It’ll allow others to see what I can write. It could also open the door for an opportunity that I wouldn’t have gotten otherwise.

I also had a YouTube video from three years ago go “viral”. I just checked on my channel one day and this one video had thousands and thousands of views. The more it got viewed, the more popular it became. As of writing this, it has almost 100,000 views and almost 3,000 likes. I’ve also gained over 300 subscribers on YouTube as a result of it. The video is short, and it’s of me playing Fortnite. If you are curious, the video can be seen here (viral Fortnite video).

I feel like being 30 is actually a good thing. It’s a time for me to discover who I really am. It’s a time for me to live. It’s a time to try new things. It’s a time to travel all over. Being 30 feels like the actual beginning of my adult life. I felt like a kid in my late teens and 20s. I felt like I was still growing up. Now that I’m 30, I feel like I’m in my prime and I have all the time in the world to do whatever I want.

Almost 30

So, here we are. A few weeks before my 30th birthday and I feel both excited and anxious. Being 30 isn’t all that bad I suppose. I mean, I am still 29. The difference between 29 and 30 can’t be all that much. One year older, and one more year to try to accomplish my goals.

Now, I’m not saying I’m unhappy with my current life. I’m actually really happy with where I am. Would I do some things over? Absolutely. Do I have any regrets? Nope. Not a single regret. I feel that everything I’ve done has contributed to where I am today. And when you can see how the past shapes the future, regret disappears.

When I go back and look at the journey of my life, I can pinpoint the things that led me to where I am today. Everything from getting straight C’s in high school to being a full-time Zamboni driver. It’s all connected.

Because I didn’t really care in high school and did the bare minimum to get by, I wound up going to Northern Illinois University. My grades were good enough for that and it was far enough away from home for me to finally be on my own. While I had fun, it didn’t last long.

I was put on academic probation and came home after my first year. I spent most of my time after that at community college just taking classes. Any classes, really. I didn’t fully know what I wanted to do yet. I dabbled in history, acting, creative writing, journalism, the list goes on and on.

Since I was going to community college, I needed a job. I got hired at an ice rink as a Zamboni driver, and that’s been my job for the last ten years. Why an ice rink? I love ice skating and playing hockey. Why not work somewhere you love being? It’s hard to believe I spent a decade making ice for people to skate on. And over the last ten years, I’ve become one of the best (at least in my opinion).

Over the last ten years, I’ve worked at five different ice rinks. Four inside and one outside. I’ve driven something like 12 different ice resurfacers. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve had a lot of fun. I’ve met some awesome people including professional hockey players and Olympic athletes. But at the end of the day, this isn’t what I want to do forever. I want to do something more.

Where I’m at now, it’s not a bad place. Coming here was probably the best decision I made. But at the same time, I finally figured out what I want to do with myself. It took about eight years of college to figure it out. To put it simply…I want to make movies.

Or if I can’t make movies, I want to be a part of making them in some way. I feel like I have good movie ideas. But if they don’t get made, it’s not the end of the world. I’ve also gotten very good at editing video. I’d happily edit movies as a career. Editing is it’s own form of creativity.

What if it doesn’t work out? Well, if it doesn’t work out, I still have a really awesome job to fall back on. One where people care. One where I have full benefits and don’t have to really worry about much. The job I have now is amazing. But as a creative person, I want more. I’ll always want more and one day, I’ll have more. But I will never forget where I came from. If it wasn’t for the job I got ten years ago, I wouldn’t have the opportunities I have today. I’ll forever be grateful for that.

Random 2 a.m. Thoughts – Part 1

It’s roughly 2 a.m. and I’m getting ready for bed. I may actually make this an ongoing series where I write about things that cross my mind at before I go to bed for the night.

I just got finished playing Apex Legends with a couple of friends. Tonight’s games weren’t as good as other nights. Everything about my game was off. I would get killed super quick, I couldn’t knock anyone down, I couldn’t hit my shots…it happens though.

I was playing ranked and it was a train wreck. They did a soft reset on ranked so it felt like people that were ranked way above me are now playing in my ranked level. It was NOT fun. I was always getting knocked down before I could even see where the shots were coming from. It takes all the fun out of the game.

The best game of the night was the last one we played. We played in unranked and we placed third. We didn’t get a third player for our trio, so it was essentially 2 vs 3 the whole game. To finish in 3rd that game was pretty impressive.

Sometimes I miss the days of old. Last year at this time the world was vastly different. Covid was in full force. Things were shut down. I wasn’t allowed to go to work because it was shut down. And if I’m being completely honest, as much as I hated being home all the time, I did actually enjoy it. I did whatever I wanted all day, every day. It was a very unique time.

I’m currently working full-time at the same job as before the pandemic. I really do enjoy it. I have excellent healthcare and all of the other benefits that come with being a full-time employee. Technically speaking, this is my first ever full-time job. I’ve worked 40+ hours a week before, but I was classified as part-time.

Since going back to work things have slowly improved. As of this post, things are just about back to normal. We still have to wear masks, but that’s not all that bad. In fact, I feel so weird when I don’t have a mask on. I’ve gotten so used to it, that it feels odd to walk around in public without one.

Friday night I’ll be going to the Cubs game. It’ll actually be my second game in 2021. The first one I went to masks were required and the stadium was at about 25% capacity. When I go Friday, masks aren’t required if you’re fully vaccinated (which I am) and the stadium is at 100% capacity. I am excited to go. I love baseball and I love watching the pros play. There’s just a certain feeling you get from being at the game that you don’t really get from watching on TV.

While the future is still uncertain, it is nice seeing things go back to how they used to be. Businesses running as normal, people being able to hang out, concerts returning. I did miss being able to go anywhere I wanted when I wanted. Being stuck at home made it feel like house arrest. The only places I went was the park and the store. Now, I can go anywhere I want.

This pandemic is something that should be remembered. It was a time of chaos and uncertainty, but we’re going to make it though it. And once we do, we’ll be grateful for all the things we do have. Because it wasn’t that long ago that the entire world shut down and our lives changed forever.