Tag: hope

If I Could Change My Past, Would I?

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been wondering about what I would do if I had a time machine and could go back in time. It’s quite an interesting question to give yourself. Would you tell yourself what’s coming? Would you not tell yourself, knowing that what’s coming could be good or bad? Would you go back at all?

I’m 31, and while I’m not exactly old, I’ve lived a bit. I’ve done things I’m proud of, I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I’ve done things I’d love to relive, I’ve done things I’d wish to forget. I’ve had my regrets. I’ve overcome those regrets. I’ve lived my life, and I’ve played it safe.

So, if I had a time machine, would I go back in time? The short answer: yes.

What advice would I give myself? That’s a hard question to answer. I don’t think there’s any one answer to that question. I wouldn’t tell myself everything to come. That would ruin the fun. But if I could say only one thing, it would be this, “While life may be difficult and it might suck, it will always get better. The rough times don’t last, and the good memories will always outweigh the bad.”

I wouldn’t change my past or try to warn myself of what’s to come. The reason I am who I am is because of the life I’ve lived. And as much as I’d like to live a different life, I don’t think I ever could. To live a different life would mean that I’m no longer me. I’d be a variation of me.

I’m proud of who I am and what I’ve done to get here. Life isn’t always rainbows and sunshine. As long as we make the best of the time we have, that’s something to be proud of. Nothing will ever be truly perfect, but we can make moments perfect for a short time.

A New Hope

Where do I begin? Another year has come and gone. It doesn’t feel like 2023 is in a few hours. But here we are. Another year, another chance to be someone new.

2022 started of so well. I was in Colorado for a week, and it was one of the best trips I’ve taken. I had so much fun skiing and just not being home. In April, I went to Galena, Illinois. In July, I went to Michigan. In September, I made my return to Hilton Head, South Carolina. It was the first time I had been down there in about 20 years and it was amazing.

Overall, I did a lot of fun stuff in 2022. I’m truly grateful for it. But 2022 wasn’t all fun. There were things that really just sucked. As the year went on, it just seemed to suck more and more. And of all my resolutions from last year, I only kept two of them. They can all be found here for future reading.

So, what didn’t I do in 2022? I didn’t post two blog posts a month, I didn’t read one book a month, and I didn’t film any of my short films. Does this make the year a failure by itself? No. I just kind of wish I did more. I know I could have done more. I just didn’t feel like it.

I did improve my video editing skills. I edited countless hours of video in 2022. I also finished writing my movie. I didn’t specify what the movie was, but I’m pretty sure I know which one it is. That also means that I took that movie and turned it into a TV show instead. The idea works better as a TV show since there’s so much to explore.

I do want to do a few things in 2023. I want to read one book a month. I have so many books, and I just got five more for Christmas. I’ll keep editing videos. I also want to put a serious effort into submitting film scripts to contests. It’ll be expensive, but it’s something I need to do to get where I want to go.

I also want to learn to say “no.” I often agree to things because I don’t want to make people mad. Well, that ends with 2022. I’m going to do things for me in 2023. That also means I need to let the past go. I often look to things in the past or people, and it never works out for me. To go forward, I have to stop going backward. The past is set in stone, but the future is undiscovered. It’s new. It’s exciting. That’s where I should be looking.

2023 is a chance to start new. It’s a chance for me to be someone different. And I fully intend on doing that. I look around and see where I am. I see where I can be. I see who I can be. It’s time I changed who I am so I can be who I’m meant to be.