Tag: life

Reflections on High School: What I Learned

Describe something you learned in high school.

My four years in high school were some of my least favorite years. I know for some people, it’s the greatest time ever. Well, I never had that feeling. I wasn’t popular or well liked. But now that I’ve been out of high school for about 15 years, I feel like I can look back on it and really talk about it. I don’t regret who I was then or who I am now. The things that happened then, helped shape me into who I am today.

My freshman year was, and always will be my favorite year of high school. The school I went to felt like home. I felt like I belonged there. My older brother spent all four years of high school there, too. I was familiar with it, and going somewhere else just wasn’t an option. Then they closed the school down at the end of my freshman year.

It crushed me, and to make a long story short, I eventually decided to go to a high school in the suburbs. Was it a good decision? No. Was it a bad decision? Also, no. It was a decision I made and then had to live with.

Some of those people were nice to me. Some of those people were not so nice to me. And some of them didn’t care about me either way. Personally, I never felt like I fit in anywhere while I was there. I played golf and baseball, and I had also joined the chess club, but I always felt like I was on the outside looking in.

I’m pretty sure my sophomore and junior year I ate lunch with just one other person. We were the “weird” ones. My senior year, I ate lunch with a few other people, mostly the “nerds.” I was OK with that because I was, and still am kind of a nerd.

During my junior year, another school closed down. A bunch of those kids came to where I was going. A lot of them were devastated, and I knew how they felt. I was one of the only ones who did. But what that also brought over was a whole new era of trouble.

I feel like I flew under the radar most of high school. I didn’t cause any problems. I tried to avoid drama. I did play sports, but I wasn’t a top athlete. My senior year was different. It’s like I got noticed all of a sudden. And once I got noticed, I was an easy target.

I was bullied quite a bit my senior year. I never said anything about it because I didn’t see the point. I knew I just had to finish my senior year and then I’d never have to see those people again. To this day I’ve only seen a handful of the people from my senior class, mostly by chance and not because I wanted to. The ones who treated me well will be greeted with respect. The others? I’m not sure. I guess we’ll see if I ever cross that bridge.

So, what did I learn from high school?

I learned that just because you’re popular in high school, it doesn’t mean anything. Sure people want to be like you, and they always want to be around you. But once you leave, no one cares.

I learned that even if you feel alone, you aren’t. There’s always someone else to talk to or hang around. There are more people like you than you think.

I learned that bullies prey on the weak. They always go after those smaller and weaker than them. They abuse others to feel like their lives are better than they are. Bullies are the weakest people.

I learned that a few years after high school you’re mostly forgotten. I was on the baseball team that went to State. We didn’t win State, but I could walk back into the school today and no one would know who I am. They wouldn’t care either.

I learned that being true to who you are is more important than anything else. Never give into peer pressure if it feels wrong. I avoided high school drinking and parties and I don’t regret it for a second.

I know my high school experience isn’t a one size fits all. Everyone experiences different things and situations. I truly did love my freshman year of high school. I was excited to be there. I was treated well. I felt like I belonged. After that, everything changed. But in a way, I’m kind of glad it happened. Without it, I don’t think I’d be the person I am today.

FIN.

15 years ago, in 2010, I started on a long journey. It was a journey I thought would never end. It came with many ups and downs, and it just seemed to drag on and on for years. What was this journey that I finally finished? College.

It all started when I was 18. I went to a university fresh out of high school, and I had the time of my life. I met some cool people and I was finally on my own. I got to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. There was no one to tell me otherwise. Unfortunately, being on my own was also my downfall. I screwed around too much, and in doing so, I was put on academic probation. What’s academic probation? It means if my grades were to drop any lower, I’d be kicked out of the university.

The following year, I went to a community college. I took several classes and worked on getting my GPA back up. After that year, I returned to the university only to find that all the work I did was for nothing. My new GPA didn’t transfer over. I stayed at the university for the fall semester, and I lived the college dream for a week in January before I went back home. What’s the college dream? I was at the university, but had no classes to take. My bad grades meant no financial aid. No financial aid meant I couldn’t pay tuition. Since I couldn’t pay tuition, I couldn’t sign up for class. The only option left? Leave the university and go back to community college.

I HATED COMMUNITY COLLEGE. I was mad I had to be there. I was mad at myself for being such a screw up. I let myself and everyone else down because I didn’t do my best. I didn’t take school seriously (up to that point, I never did). I was lost. I didn’t know what I wanted or what to do. I kept taking classes, but nothing seemed to interest me. I was bored. I was bitter. The only light I found in the dark was when I wrote for the college newspaper. It was something I enjoyed doing and it was fun. Shortly after I started doing that, I had my own radio show at the college.

For about seven years, I HATED the fact that I screwed up my only chance to become something. I finally got away from the disaster of high school only to be brought back home in no better position than before. I had a shot to become something more than just a kid from Chicago. Everyone around me was moving on. What was I doing? Nothing. I was a nobody. I needed direction. I needed to find something interesting. I needed to be shown that I could be something more.

As fate would have it, I got my wish. We moved to a different town and I had to go to a different college. I looked at the new college and found the one thing I felt I’d be interested in. Boy was I right. I started taking classes in TV and movie production, and I never looked back. I finally found what I wanted to do.

Over the last eight years, I’ve been taking classes that cover every aspect of film making. I’ve helped make short films. I’ve made my own short films. I just made my own music video for my final class. Every class, every assignment, every project was something that I never once regretted doing. Everything I’ve done since taking that first motion picture/TV production class has been what I was looking for.

I’ve had people make fun of me for being in college in my 30s. I’ve had people laugh at me for it. But you know what? It doesn’t bother me. Everyone is on a different timeline. I spent so long being angry at myself, regretting what I had done to myself that everything I’ve done for film has made it all worth it.

I don’t regret a second of anything I did. I don’t regret almost getting kicked out of a university because of my own stupidity. I don’t regret taking a bunch of classes I’ve never used or thought of since. I don’t regret going to community college for so long. And I surely don’t regret the student loans I have to pay back either. I messed up my own life and I needed to find my way out of it. Once I did, all that anger and regret I had went away. I was comparing myself to everyone else. The problem is, I’ve never been like everyone else. I’ve always been me. I finally understood that.

Now that I’m finally finished with college, degree and all, what’s next? I don’t know. I want to work on a TV show or movie, but I also love editing videos. My ideal job is to be a writer/director, but I know that’s hard to get into. Not impossible, just really, really hard. I want a job in film production and it doesn’t matter for who. When I’m not working in that field, I’ll be writing and filming my own projects that I’ll post online.

It took me such a long time to get where I am today, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’ve done some cool things. I’ve learned a lot. I met some awesome people that I’d love to do more projects with in the future as well. Everything I did over the last 15 years has lead me to where I am today. I’m so glad I stuck with it and didn’t give up. Deep down, I think I always knew I’d find something I’d love to do. It just took me a lot longer than I wanted it to.