Tag: Success

If I Could Change My Past, Would I?

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been wondering about what I would do if I had a time machine and could go back in time. It’s quite an interesting question to give yourself. Would you tell yourself what’s coming? Would you not tell yourself, knowing that what’s coming could be good or bad? Would you go back at all?

I’m 31, and while I’m not exactly old, I’ve lived a bit. I’ve done things I’m proud of, I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I’ve done things I’d love to relive, I’ve done things I’d wish to forget. I’ve had my regrets. I’ve overcome those regrets. I’ve lived my life, and I’ve played it safe.

So, if I had a time machine, would I go back in time? The short answer: yes.

What advice would I give myself? That’s a hard question to answer. I don’t think there’s any one answer to that question. I wouldn’t tell myself everything to come. That would ruin the fun. But if I could say only one thing, it would be this, “While life may be difficult and it might suck, it will always get better. The rough times don’t last, and the good memories will always outweigh the bad.”

I wouldn’t change my past or try to warn myself of what’s to come. The reason I am who I am is because of the life I’ve lived. And as much as I’d like to live a different life, I don’t think I ever could. To live a different life would mean that I’m no longer me. I’d be a variation of me.

I’m proud of who I am and what I’ve done to get here. Life isn’t always rainbows and sunshine. As long as we make the best of the time we have, that’s something to be proud of. Nothing will ever be truly perfect, but we can make moments perfect for a short time.

New Year, New Set of Goals

Well, we made it! It’s officially 2022! What does that mean? Nothing really. It’s just another year when you look at it. But personally, there are some things I would really like to accomplish this year. What kinds of things? Well, they’re kind of all over the place to be honest.

First of all, I would like to put out two blog posts a month. That might not seem like a lot, but it is to someone like me. I find myself in the mood to write and then I procrastinate it over and over. By keeping to a two post a month schedule, I feel that I can actually get things done and post regular content.

Secondly, I’d like to read at least one book a month. For some that might seem easy. And it is. But like so many other things, I find it difficult to do. I find other things to do in its place. I’m currently reading one, but I’m not sure I’ll finish it by the end of January. That doesn’t mean I failed. If I can have 12 books finished by December 31, 2022, I will have accomplished my goal of reading one book per month. I would like to read more, but we’ll see how that goes.

Third, I’d like to finish the movie I’m writing. While it is technically done, I’m in the editing stage. How long will that take? Who knows. I’ll keep working on it until I feel it can’t be perfected anymore. Or until I think it’s good enough because otherwise, I’ll always be editing it. I also just came up with a few new ideas that I want to write in as well.

Fourth, I’d like to film my short film. Which one? Any of them. I entered Babylon into a few screenwriting contests in 2021 and I was waiting to see how that went before doing anything else with it. In the meantime, I’ve been working on another short film called Time Hunters. Time Hunters is actually a two-part series that I want to finish writing and film at some point. Who knows, maybe I’ll film Babylon and both Time Hunters 1 and Time Hunters 2 this year.

Finally, I’d like to improve my video editing skills. I know I’m a good video editor, but that doesn’t mean I can’t improve on it. There’s always room for improvement. I would also like to get familiar with After Effects. I’ve had it for years but never really used it.

2022 has potential to be a great year. I might not get everything done that I want to, but even if I get a few things done I’ll be happy. If I get none of them done, I’ll still be happy. At least I gave it an effort and in the end that’s all that really matters.

I Am Who I Am

I’ve been reflecting lately. On 2021. On my life. On the things I’ve done and haven’t done. Not in a bad way. More like a reflection of my past to better understand the present and the future.

It’s weird. Because from the time I turned 18 until I was in my late 20s, I sort of struggled with who I was. I didn’t know what career I wanted. I didn’t fully know who I was as a person. I didn’t know if I had any skills that were worth anything. I wasn’t necessarily a mess, it was just a decade of discovery for me.

The weird thing is, once I hit 30, all of that kind of changed. Well, most of it. Ok, only some of it. I discovered who I was in my late 20s. The person I am, my values and traits, that was all locked in. But something kind of funny happened. Something I didn’t expect. I stopped caring.

What do I mean by that? It’s simple. I stopped giving a shit about what other people thought of me. Last year I read a book called The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck. It was a great read and I recommend it to everyone. After reading that book, I was left speechless. I realized that I put way too much effort into things I couldn’t control. About a year later, I finally started taking the advice from the book.

We can’t control everything. We can’t control how people view us. We can’t control what they think of us. We can’t control what they say about us either. But we can control how we react to things. And once I hit 30, I literally decided that people’s opinions of me didn’t matter anymore. If they talk trash about me, that doesn’t matter either. I know who I am and I’m not changing for anyone. I know I can’t control what people say about me, but I can control how I react. And how will I react? I’ll act like I don’t don’t care anymore because I don’t.

A New Beginning

October 2020. 8 months after the beginning of the pandemic. Life is not what it once was. We live in a world of uncertainty. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. We don’t know if this pandemic will ever end. And yet, we keep moving on. We keep fighting. We have hope that one day, life will return to normal. Is that even possible at this point? Can we go back to normal? Who knows.

This pandemic has exposed many of the flaws in our society. From health care issues to how the ultra rich can be comfortable while the rest of us struggle. It has showed us how divided we are. How entitled some of us are. How we believe wearing a mask is losing our rights when it’s really there to keep everyone safe and healthy.

The unknown scares us. We could have this pandemic another 2 months or another 2 years. But one thing is for sure, the pandemic has caused us to confront issues we didn’t before and as a result, things are slowly changing.

I have made some changes in my life as well. Partially because of the pandemic, partially because it was time. I’ve spent a majority of my life playing it safe. Not taking a risk for fear of failure or rejection. 2020 was the first year where I said, “Screw it! Let’s see what happens!”

It started when I changed my job in February. I left my current job of 4 years after they didn’t want to negotiate a pay raise. I had just worked 14 days in a row and felt I wasn’t being compensated fairly after a co-worker quit. They didn’t want to entertain the idea of a negotiation. So I left. I went somewhere closer to home that was going to pay me more and work me less than 14 days in a row. As it turns out, that was one of the smartest things I did.

Come March the pandemic hit and everything was shut down. I was at home from March-May and I got paid by my new job for the hours I would have worked. This came as a shock to me. I was only a part time employee and I had only been there a month. I’m grateful that they did pay me during lockdown. And it just shows that sometimes when you take a leap of faith it all works out for the better.

I went back to work in June and it’s been a bit of a struggle. Not for me personally, but for work. There are additional rules and regulations in place. Masks are required at all times. We have to constantly clean things. It isn’t anything overly complicated, but it is extra work. While I don’t expect to be compensated for it, I wouldn’t take this opportunity for granted. It has proven to be a wise decision to come here. And in time, I know things will work out in my favor. We are in a unique time. An era none of us have experienced. And I’m sure once this is over, the reward for sticking it out will be waiting. I just have to take that leap of faith once more.